Wanna know what my why is…?

So, why did I decide to set up an antenatal business alongside my NHS midwife job, when I already had a full time job, a busy life and knowing that about 20% of small businesses in the UK fail within their first year and around 60% go bust within the first three years, grim innit?🤭

Get a brew and settle in... I wanna take you back to March 16, 2020, I was at work, as community midwife it was a busy day, we were navigating an odd, unsettling, unpredictable time. To put it plainly, work was shit🫩

I should have finished work 2 hours before, I was probably on my 10th cup of tea and probably hadn't had lunch, we had the radio on in the office and I could hear the TV in our staffroom flick on to hear this... Former Prime Minister, Bo Jo announcing that those who were pregnant should take "particular care" and avoid non-essential social contact to protect themselves from COVID-19....⚠️

I looked up from my notes and stared at my colleague and mate who was sat opposite me, another community midwife. I just stared at her, then I found my tongue and said 'What the fuck did he just say?' 😵

We both stood up, because we had heard a commotion down the corridor, our colleagues who were on shift in the birth centre we worked at were scrambling to come into the staffroom to hear what was being said...

We all looked at each other and said a garbled mix of

'WTAF?'

'Did you know this?'

'Have we missed an email?'

'Why did nobody tell us?' 😦

Something you might not know as healthcare professionals/midwives on the front line, the culture that we exist in, we are trained to automatically assume we have done something wrong, that we have missed something... Ask any one you know who works in the NHS. We often liken ourselves to mushrooms, 'we're fed shit and kept in the dark' 🍄

This day is the definition of that saying...

Up until this point we were having to navigate questions (rightly so) from those in our care about this pandemic, answers that we didn't have... Another tough thing for healthcare professionals, telling those in your care, "you don't know, you don't have the answers" and hoping that they can continue to have blind faith you in is pretty cack 😑

From when that press conference finished, the phone lines BLEW UP until 2245 that night, we all were answering every phone that the unit had, the shift midwife, maternity care assistant and 4 community midwives. From our local community, who were panicked, anxious and some were fuming😡

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What does this mean?"

"I'm a nurse/teacher/insert any profession that involved contact with the general public - have I put my baby at risk?"

Having to say that over an over again that night and for MONTHS to come, 'we didn't know he was going to announce that, we don't know, we don't have the answers' was horrific. Writing this now makes me wanna vom 🤢

Fast forward to the April, my best mate had a baby and due to further restrictions being imposed, she and her baby were separated from her husband whilst they were in hospital... Her ongoing care was impacted dramatically, from then for her remainder of time in hospital to the (shoddy IMO) postnatal contact. I stood in her garden and attempted to offer breastfeeding support through the window as often as I could, it was pathetic, I felt like I was failing her and everyone 🤱🏾

The decisions that were made, the policies that were changed (some still remain), the impact of that time still reverberates now through our communities. We contributed to damage and trauma to families and I carry that to this day 💝

I set up (with the help of an absolute babe, Kelly) The Moon & Lotus Birth Prep to offer a space for those about to embark on their parenting journey to learn, discuss and decide on what they want from this experience, because YOU do have options, all the time, every step of the way and I work with you and your partner the way I wished I could have worked with my best mate, that is the level of drive and investment I have in you and your experience 🔥

Because this matters, the ripple effect from a powerful birth experience that leaves you feeling like a rainbow, bathed in sun beams and glitter lasts a life time, ask anyone who's has had one, you will pass this onto your kiddos, family & friends and I believe that is the great gift anyone can give ✨️

Thats me, that's my why💕

Maybe see you soon

Sam x